8.18.06 - The Bad Stuff
BIKER TRASH GETS GETS ROOM WITH STAINED CARPET...
Am I nuts to expect... a THREE-STAR HOTEL TO PROVIDE...Free wi-fi internet service?--no..$10/day...A bedspread that doesn't look like someone did a rump rodeo on it? A carpet with more stains than Monica's dress? Enough bitchin', but God...at Daytona Bike Week, ABM got a 3 star, & they comp'd us everything but the drinks in the frig, + secure bike parking--To be fair, the mountain view is incredible, and the towels are thick as a brick. Paid $55/night, door sign says it goes for $240.
CRASHING SUCKS:
Halfway between Colorado's Montrose, and the town of Salida (sal-lie-dah), pulled off into a Shell station, & about 15 bikers, take off ahead of us, in 2 by 2 formation. They're riding side by side, not staggered, as the column of two's blasts off...Half hour later, we catch up to them---A Harley is lying flat, just off the blacktop,and a fifty-ish dude sitting, is propped up against a signpost, his bro's giving him a sip of water...no cuts, blood, but shook up, and not ready to ride on...Man, you feel so sorry for a bro when something bad like this happens. Falling rock from the canyon wall, a cage crossed the center line, or they were riding side-by-side, shooting the shit, and either ran into each other,or missed the curve. Either way, he was lucky to have crashed in the grass and not rocks. I stopped long enough to be sure they
were cell-phone equipped, and rode on.
GOOD STUFF:
20 miles past the crash debacle, the bike is running good for 9,000 feet, rolling along the Arkansas river. Spot two dudes running a fat blue hose into the river, pumping out bottom sand up the embankment, into a 3 foot wide stainless steel tub with legs...Prospectors!! Not even a quarter-mile downstream, a hippy-looking lady has a couple white donut buckets, and she is panning for gold. The hotspot seems to be just downstream from a gypsum mining operation. NO GPS NUMBERS...but... it's Located just past the little town of Ricon, at mile marker 232, route 50. ABM gets half of whatever you find?? (my little waif kids need milk, cookies & new shoes for school..)
HOW COLD WAS IT?
69 degrees at the Motel in Montrose, 8am. Between Montrose and Gunnison, the canyon temps were hitting the mid forties. Cold for a Florida boy. Froze balls off...(still not sure where they are)...crossed over beautiful Blue Mesa Resevoir,
at least 15 miles long, a no-wake lake, with enthusiasts slow-trolling for rainbows...on up at the headwater area, 5 or 6 people were fishing from the bank. This is the best time of year to get 'em 'cause the water's so low, trout are bunched up in the deep holes--find one, ya found 'em all.
CAN~YON CITY:
Half-hour downhill, low-gear ride. On STEEP GRADES, I SMELL BURNING BRAKE PADS from downhill cages and trucks. (stinks like A Jersey oil refinery...) Only 45 Miles from Colorado Springs, Canon City (pronounced "CAN-YAHN") had "Big Daddy's Diner", a 50's style dinette, w/stools & booths. In the south, y'all, a real "Chicken-Fried Steak", usually sirloin, is breaded and deep fried & this one came with a ton of mashed potatoes, half cup of white pepper gravy, peas & carrots, a yeast roll, butter, and a superlarge iced tea. TAB: $6.59--Left a great tip.
FINALLY: A JANE FONDA REVOLUTION!
25,000 of my foreign war military veteran bro's will begin to converge, in a former ghost-town called Cripple Creek. The Army kept me here for 9 agonizing months after returning from 'nam...As an NCO, almost got busted when JANE FONDA came to protest at Fort Carson's Gate #2....M.P.'s were searching the trunk of every car for weapons,
and I had more pistolas on me than PANCHO VILLA! I LOVE GUNS, but unlike TED NUGENT, I THINK SQUIRRELS TASTE LIKE RATS WITH TAILS--believe me, I know..my parents made me EAT DAMMED STEW MADE WITH 'EM! (ABM bears no prejudice against anyone who likes to munch on critters, but WE prefer steaks, fish, lobsters, shrimp..ya know?)
Anyway...Army Brass actually thought there was going to be a JANE FONDA ARMED REVOLUTION at Gate #2! How do I know? THE FOOLS GAVE ME A TOP SECRET CLEARANCE! (can you believe it...Jeff Ryan was in charge of every piece of cryptographic equipment on the base!!)... HA! WHAT A BUNCH OF F'IN IDIOTS!
Am I nuts to expect... a THREE-STAR HOTEL TO PROVIDE...Free wi-fi internet service?--no..$10/day...A bedspread that doesn't look like someone did a rump rodeo on it? A carpet with more stains than Monica's dress? Enough bitchin', but God...at Daytona Bike Week, ABM got a 3 star, & they comp'd us everything but the drinks in the frig, + secure bike parking--To be fair, the mountain view is incredible, and the towels are thick as a brick. Paid $55/night, door sign says it goes for $240.
CRASHING SUCKS:
Halfway between Colorado's Montrose, and the town of Salida (sal-lie-dah), pulled off into a Shell station, & about 15 bikers, take off ahead of us, in 2 by 2 formation. They're riding side by side, not staggered, as the column of two's blasts off...Half hour later, we catch up to them---A Harley is lying flat, just off the blacktop,and a fifty-ish dude sitting, is propped up against a signpost, his bro's giving him a sip of water...no cuts, blood, but shook up, and not ready to ride on...Man, you feel so sorry for a bro when something bad like this happens. Falling rock from the canyon wall, a cage crossed the center line, or they were riding side-by-side, shooting the shit, and either ran into each other,or missed the curve. Either way, he was lucky to have crashed in the grass and not rocks. I stopped long enough to be sure they
were cell-phone equipped, and rode on.
GOOD STUFF:
20 miles past the crash debacle, the bike is running good for 9,000 feet, rolling along the Arkansas river. Spot two dudes running a fat blue hose into the river, pumping out bottom sand up the embankment, into a 3 foot wide stainless steel tub with legs...Prospectors!! Not even a quarter-mile downstream, a hippy-looking lady has a couple white donut buckets, and she is panning for gold. The hotspot seems to be just downstream from a gypsum mining operation. NO GPS NUMBERS...but... it's Located just past the little town of Ricon, at mile marker 232, route 50. ABM gets half of whatever you find?? (my little waif kids need milk, cookies & new shoes for school..)
HOW COLD WAS IT?
69 degrees at the Motel in Montrose, 8am. Between Montrose and Gunnison, the canyon temps were hitting the mid forties. Cold for a Florida boy. Froze balls off...(still not sure where they are)...crossed over beautiful Blue Mesa Resevoir,
at least 15 miles long, a no-wake lake, with enthusiasts slow-trolling for rainbows...on up at the headwater area, 5 or 6 people were fishing from the bank. This is the best time of year to get 'em 'cause the water's so low, trout are bunched up in the deep holes--find one, ya found 'em all.
CAN~YON CITY:
Half-hour downhill, low-gear ride. On STEEP GRADES, I SMELL BURNING BRAKE PADS from downhill cages and trucks. (stinks like A Jersey oil refinery...) Only 45 Miles from Colorado Springs, Canon City (pronounced "CAN-YAHN") had "Big Daddy's Diner", a 50's style dinette, w/stools & booths. In the south, y'all, a real "Chicken-Fried Steak", usually sirloin, is breaded and deep fried & this one came with a ton of mashed potatoes, half cup of white pepper gravy, peas & carrots, a yeast roll, butter, and a superlarge iced tea. TAB: $6.59--Left a great tip.
FINALLY: A JANE FONDA REVOLUTION!
25,000 of my foreign war military veteran bro's will begin to converge, in a former ghost-town called Cripple Creek. The Army kept me here for 9 agonizing months after returning from 'nam...As an NCO, almost got busted when JANE FONDA came to protest at Fort Carson's Gate #2....M.P.'s were searching the trunk of every car for weapons,
and I had more pistolas on me than PANCHO VILLA! I LOVE GUNS, but unlike TED NUGENT, I THINK SQUIRRELS TASTE LIKE RATS WITH TAILS--believe me, I know..my parents made me EAT DAMMED STEW MADE WITH 'EM! (ABM bears no prejudice against anyone who likes to munch on critters, but WE prefer steaks, fish, lobsters, shrimp..ya know?)
Anyway...Army Brass actually thought there was going to be a JANE FONDA ARMED REVOLUTION at Gate #2! How do I know? THE FOOLS GAVE ME A TOP SECRET CLEARANCE! (can you believe it...Jeff Ryan was in charge of every piece of cryptographic equipment on the base!!)... HA! WHAT A BUNCH OF F'IN IDIOTS!
posted by americanbikerminute at 9:03 AM
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