American Biker Minute's Sturgis Report:

Chick Power!

They're here every year.

Latest Gag On Main Street?

First it was a dollar bill attached to 20 feet of 2 lb test trout monofilament. That was in Daytona. On Main Street in Sturgis, someone has devised a way to find the cheapest bikers at this rally. They super glued a quarter to the sidewalk. Yes, takers. How embarrasing is that. Especially, when they keep picking at it...duh.

Female Biker Trend of the Year!

Womanise Bikers Bare Breast es On Main Street, Sturgis, SD

This lady is doing what is perfectly legal here.

Step 1: On go the Pasties.

Step 2: (optional) Body Painting of the Breast es

Step 3: Cross the street and see how many dudes you can get to run into a lamp post.

Kidding aside, this is the first year we've ever seen that. Gives the rally a shot in the arm. Dudes will return for the breast es alone!

COME ON, DAYTONA!

Ditch the horse an' buggy.

Even Mel Gibson Couldn't Rescue the 'Dome:

Our friends at the Rapid City Journal report that “Thunderdome”, across the street from Full Throttle Saloon had a rough go of it this rally. According to the paper, Jay Allen, former owner of County Line/Broken Spoke venues had leased the place, and sold lots to various vendors, including people associated with the “Tattoo Expo”, which was supposed to be an inkapalooza. After almost a week of no traffic, they packed up and went home, the lady promoter claiming she’d lost more than sixty grand on the deal. She had other acerbic comments, which we won’t pass along.

Dude, Where's My.... BIKE!

Ah yes, reading the American Biker Minute blog would have saved these bikers a rather large pile of cash. First they gotta pay the fine. Next they gotta go to the impound lot. After that, they gotta spend years rediscovering scratches and dents they'd swear weren't there before....

Parked up against the far side curb, yes, the one with the big bright yellow painted all over it. In Sturgis, that's a tow job, not a .. well, you know. Yes, the city might have prevented quite a few visits to the impound lot, had they stenciled a bold warning over the yellow, but that's sort of not their responsibility, if ya catch our drift. NOR, is it the SPD's responsibility to indicate, in any way, that you are about to shoot yourself in the foot, as you gingerly back your baby up against the freshly painted curb. Yes, even though they are standing not 40 feet away.  There's usually quite a bit of signage to warn us. 

Also, you cannot park "overnight" in Sturgis.  2-6am are the magic hours of tow.  Look at that brand new F-350!

We think a major cause of this parking malfeasance is due to the dudes arriving early in the morning, when no other bikes are on the street. The natural inclination is to park on the sides, not in the middle of the street. In this way, a biker's human nature, (and the fact that most of us are burned out as hell by the time we finally get here), serves, in it's own little way to support the greater good of the Sturgis community.

Maybe a new soda machine for the station, and Bob Seger for the Christmas party.. they're expensive, you know.

With a building crowd of semi-disgusted gawkers, the tow truck people hurried to grab as much iron as possible before it got ugly. Kidding, but only the part about getting ugly.

For the record, this ain't the only city which tows bike week bikes away. Daytona is probably the world class leader in mobile motorcycle towing, and they don't quit there. Before you sign up for a room at the beach, get your parking guarantee in writing, especially if you trailer down there, oh man, they just love to tow trailers. See, it could be worse, here all you got to worry about is the mello yellow line. And don't think for a moment you can take advantage of the folks at Lynn's Dakota Mart. Either they're watching on closed circuit, or chalk marking tires. On a good day, they'll impound a dozen cages in that lot. Cagers cannot get it straight. This is bike week, so we have no parking for your nasty cage.
Buy a motorcycle and park anywhere you desire. (except on the yellow line.!)

Lynyrd Skynyrd Plays to a Buffalo Chip Full House

As predicted on ABM, last night's Lynyrd Skynyrd show was an unofficial sellout, eclipsing their previous appearance by several thousand.

Set lasted about 90 minutes, ending just past midnight with of course, "Free Bird".

 

See this trailer. It's not intended for motorcycles at all.
It's an ICE FISHING SHACK!

With a hole in the floor to yank them fat North Dakota Walleye right up and into the damm fry pan.
During the trip to Sturgis, motion sickness hit one chick.  They told her to "open the hatch", and
let 'er rip.

Like we say, you never know what what's next out here.

 

As a footnote, ABM’s blog is solely for entertainment purposes. We don’t mean to denigrate anyone, anything, any possession. In our attempt to write what we hope will pass for humor, we may have inadvertently po’d someone, somewhere, somehow. Although we’re not taking any of it back, if that is you, please accept our apology, for at the end of each day, this is how bikers pass the time.  Our remarks are an accurate reflection. 

A great man once said, (and I believe he’s still saying it),“it’s always funny, until it’s about you.”

This is our final Sturgis report until this time next year.
We'll be riding around Arizona-Colorado-Utah.  

In just 8 weeks, hear our coverage of Florida's brand of fall fun, & beautiful riding along some of the world's most stunning beaches at Biketoberfest 2012!

 

Hear a new American Biker Minute show each day!

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What's that about the shiny side up, rubber side down..Safe trip home, and see y'all at Daytona, or here next year!

American Biker Minute

Your Passport to the Open Road on Two Wheels.