Hoka Hoax, or the real deal?

Rumors, rumors...WTF?

A couple of major HD dealers, including one of the world's largest, have to be wringing their collective hands this morning, admid the growing rumor that the 7,000 mile Hoka Hey MC Run may be flawed. We understand Facebook ain't the Washington Post, but look at what's hittin' the wall:

Rumor #1: HH organizers checked out of their hotel.
Rumor#2: Bad road map-useless polygraphs.
Rumor#3: Red Cloud may not be a lawyer after all, (but that's good.)

Ohio biker, radio personality, and confidant to ABM, Scott Shawver has two brothers in the Hoka Hey, hell bent on winning. They slept only 3-4 hours a night, gave it all they had, yet were only in Wyoming when the first two showed up to cross the finish line in Homer.

This whole mess reminds me of attempting to fight and win a foreign war while obeying bone headed rules likely written down on a cocktail napkin in some DC stripper's bar.

Rational bikers had to know, going in, there would be controversy, broken rules, broken bones, and a death or two, the nature of what we do. Bikes aren't ridden on a level playing field. To be sure, you never expect to get screwed, but if you're smart, you aren't totally surprised when it does happen.

Will someone, ANYONE, get the half million in Alaskan gold?

One thing's for sure: We will have an answer sometime between now and July 4, 2010.

Hoka Hey's Early End, HD CEO To Ride to Sturgis:

Hoka Hey Ends Early. How did that happen?

Inquiring minds want to know, how did two bikers, one from Florida, one from South Carolina arrive in Homer, Alaska, yesterday, days ahead of the July 4th weekend expected arrival? Somehow, we just knew the winner(s) would roll across the finish line on a bagger..

Ain't in the bag yet: Can you pass all of these tests?

1-Drug Test
2-Polygraph
3-Motorcycle Inspection
4-Gasoline Receipts

HD Boss Man Rides to Sturgis, one more time..

Keith Wandall, former CEO of Johnson Controls, a major player in the parts-to-automobile industry, took over the giant enterprise that HD is last year. He will ride to Sturgis, where Harley is setting up shop this year. HD threw Rapid City's Convention Center location under the bus in order to get back to basics, and be in Sturgis, at 3rd and Lazelle, which in ABM's humble opinion, is well where the Mo-Co belongs. Too bad American Ironhorse had to go out of business in order for HD to get the spot.

Find out more about the new big cheese on ABM's "Harley Revival Week", five days of introspection from the number one man at the helm of the world's number one mc company. Airs July 12-July16, 2010 on your favorite radio station.

Our only question? The ride out is hard. The ride back is a b--ch. Will he make the ride one way, or both ways? He has to be a busy man.

Ozzy?? That's big. How can they afford it?

Music Savant Puzzled by Biker Power:

We have a friend in the music industry. Savvy dude. Writes album reviews. Knows half the people in the music industry. He was shocked that a mere "campground" in the middle of South Dakota could front the necessary bucks to bring Ozzy to the Black Hills, never mind Kid Rock, ZZ Top, etc. How do they do it?

Easy. Multiply 400,000 times 1,000 or 2,000:

It's easy to drop a couple grand while you're in the Black Hills, but for the sake of debate, let's say 400,000 bikers show up, and on average, they spend a thousand dollars each: Let's do the math, 400,000 bikers times $1,000 dollars each=$400,000,000. That's four hundred million dollars. If the average expenditure were $2,000, the figure would be close to one BILLION dollars.

THAT'S HOW THEY CAN AFFORD TO BRING OZZIE TO THE BLACK HILLS.

Any more questions?

Battle of the Bands? Sturgis Rock 'n' Roll War?

THE BIG SEVEN - O!

Crowds swell every fifth year, and come in droves when the year's date ends in a zero, so it's no surprise that Sturgis area campgrounds are amping up the rock 'n' roll this year.

BC began with a strong lineup; ZZ Top, Kid Rock, Buckcherry, Motley Crue.

The newly sold Glencoe Campground, just across from the Full Throttle Saloon, and down the hill, from the Chip, said in so many words, they are the new king of rock, and announced Godsmack, Creed, Stone Temple Pilots, 3 Doors Down, and Alice in Chains, plus others, (in order of appearance).

The Chip fired off another round, announcing that on Wednesday of the rally, Ozzy Osbourne would bite the head offa rat.. (okay, so I'm embellishing a bit).
ABM expects the Chip amphitheater to be Fire Marshall packed at capacity, perhaps 80,000 to as many as 100,000 bikers will fill up the joint and plug up the toilets to see the self-professed "Prince of Darkness". It's gonna be one hell of an August this year.

Will Ozzie get a full moon to serenade the bikers by?

Pee Wee Herman, and Where's Them Heads?

Coulda Got 'em Back from San Diego by now...

Scary Larry says it hasn't been quite three weeks since we dropped off ABM's 111 cu in S/S evo heads at a nondescript home in a quiet suburban neighborhood. What would make this much easier would be if the dude would pick up the fone when we call...Guess it's better to get them done right and be late, than done wrong and be early, but with five weeks to go until we leave for Sturgis, this is tracking along the same ill-fated last-minute path we took on last August's trip...

Pee Wee Herman Does South Dakota?

Yeah, Aug 8/9 at the Buffalo Chip. Has anyone told the dude there's no movie theatre in town? The Wee joins greats like Dave Mason, Tesla, Buckcherry, ZZ Top, Kid Rock, Motley Crue & more for a week of South Dakota mayhem. We've nearly forgot about last year's soft ball hail storm...maybe this year it's someone else's turn?

ABM's "7 Days of Summer Rides"

Airs on your favorite terrestrial radio station beginning the first day of Summer, Monday, June 21st, through and including Sunday, June 27th. Bikers, describe, in their own words, the best rides north America has to offer. Glacier to the Panama Canal, New Mexico to Key West, Deal's gap for one lady's first ride on a new bike.. you get the picture, now tune in and hear it all!

They can tape us but we can't tape them?

Hold it.. This.. is.. America?

In some states, authorities are using a somewhat vague law regarding the "audio" or sound portion of your video camera to turn an innocent taping of your brush with the law into a first class felony. In some jurisdictions, this might mean 4-15 years in prison.

You mean they can tape us, but we can't tape them?

Yeah. Sucks, doesn't it. Know your legal rights. Know the law. They do. Forewarned is forearmed.

Cameras are the new guns.